Bring up the self confidence in your child

9 September 2009

CHILDWISE
By RUTH LIEW

Children need to be emotionally prepared to go to kindergarten.

I AM a 28-year-old mother of two boys, aged three and five. I am having a challenging time with my older boy who refuses to go to school. When he was four, I enrolled him in a kindergarten. He enjoyed his time there even though we had difficulty getting him to school in the morning. He would cry and protest.

When it comes to concerts and sports day, my son would refuse to participate. This made me very sad. He was the only one who cried.

Five schools participated in these events. No other children cried like my son. He bawled and I felt embarrassed in front of hundreds of parents and students. I acted positively when he cried. I did not scold him in front of others and tried my best to coax him to join the crowd. People who gathered around us ridiculed me but I did not relent. I was determined to help my son fit in.

Later I took him out of the kindergarten because I felt he was not making any progress. I got feedback from the teachers that he liked to do things of his choice. He appeared to be in a world of his own.

Since stopping school, he has not been doing much at home. Every night, I would teach him the alphabet and numbers. I find that he gives up easily and is not persistent. He still tells me that he hates school because he does not like his teachers and schoolmates.

I want the best for him but I do not know how to motivate him. Next year, he will be six. He will need to attend kindergarten.

I am worried about sending him to another kindergarten as he may face the same problems. – Mother of Two

Every child has a different personality and temperament. Some children warm up easily, while others find it hard to adapt to a new environment. There are children who are cheerful workers while others would rather be left alone to do their own thing.

As they grow, children learn and make mistakes. At times, they’ll find it hard to deal with the challenges ahead for numerous reasons. As the school programme is packed with more activities during the second year, your son may find it hard to keep up with the demands, compared with the first year.

Going to school needs preparation. The crying and protests in the mornings are part of your child’s fears and insecurities. Unlike his peers, he does not warm up easily in groups. It is his individual style of doing things

Res­­pect your son as an individual with his own likes and dislikes. Once he feels acknowledged for what he can do and not made to feel inadequate, he will start to show signs of school readiness.

Come up with home lessons to prepare him for learning the alphabet, numbers, colours, shapes, art and craft and even preschool songs. Do role-playing with your boys. Children feel more confident when they know the right words to use in various situations.

Young children are constantly learning and growing. Your son may take some time to be school-savvy and sociable. Meanwhile, you must be proud of what he is presently capable of.

Do not feel embarrassed by your son’s behaviour. You will be surprised that there are many children who are struggling with school attendance. Their parents yell at them and punish them without trying to understand their disposition. Stay positive with your son.

Spend time talking about the things he likes in school rather than asking him whether he wants to go back to school. He needs to work out his role in school as well as learn to accept other people. Once he is prepared and confident, he will be able to take the first step in going to school by himself.

Boost Confidence and Self Esteem of your Teenager

Adolescence is probably the most awkward years for your teenagers. When a child reaches this age, he or she faces many changes and challenges. It was much easier when they were younger because parents have total control over their children but as babies grow up to become teenagers and just developing the mind to think for themselves.

Teenagers want to try new things and they are increasingly prepared to meet the challenges head on what is scary, but most parents are the facts that all the new things are good and that all challenges are for to be attacked. Parents are careful not to be interfering because at this stage teenagers want to prove themselves so they think that the resistance of their parents is cool.

It is indeed a difficult situation but one sure way a parent can be of assistance to a young person is to help youth build confidence and self esteem. A boy of high self-esteem and confidence have an advantage over those who are easily swayed by the crowd who can not defend themselves against people who just want to manipulate them into bad decisions or to things that are bad for them.

Parents should be able to teach their young people come in all shapes and sizes that way they will be able to be more tolerant of their physical attributes and would also be non-judgmental of others. Encourage them to join in activities where the playing field is equal. Sport is an excellent way to develop social skills and your teen a chance to excel. A teenager with good social skills would be able to treat all types of people and situations. Excelling in anything can strengthen the confidence of a young and self-esteem.

Adolescents should earn their self-esteem, because that way they will not abandon it like that. Parents can support this effort by giving consistently well deserved and genuine praise. While parents may not be there all the way, they must always be ready to lend a hand when their teenagers need a hand to hold. For sure there will be failures along the way, but a little failure is always a good sign. What is most important is to teach them resilience.

Parents are not intended to protect their children against the pain and discomfort, but rather for them to ensure they go through the pain and discomfort, then doing well. Make sure it is clear that you will never abandon anything. Give them the vote of confidence they can manage the situation because it is the only way to show respect to their independence.

As much as parents want to be their number one dear leaders in a manner strong belief in your quiet teenagers will have more impact. Reality Bites, we all know this, but still there is always room to move forward.

Hopefully these things will guide parents in making life easier for themselves and their adolescent children. Nobody said that it will be an easy walk, but as in any other case, we can always find ways to make things lighter for us and everyone around us.

Improve Self Esteem

Developing self esteem is very important to everyone. Efforts to improve self-esteem can be conscious or unconscious. It simply means that some people actively pursue the objective of raising their own anger, while others tend to increase their self-esteem without knowing it. It is important to know what areas of your life you just want to improve. In this way, you are not simply external indicators to achieve your goal.

The problem is not all people know how to improve their self-esteem. In fact, it is easier for most people to ruin their self-esteem than to build. Unconsciously, we tend to reduce the negative image of oneself in thought. There is nothing like a negative thought to reduce or even destroy our own image.

Here are some tips on how to improve self-esteem:

Make a list of all your accomplishments

One of the best ways to improve self-esteem is to make an inventory of all your achievements. Be honest when you write the list. This way you will get an objective view of your skills and abilities. Also this way you can gain insight on areas of your life need improvement.

Make an effort to improve weaknesses

After making a list of all your achievements and your weaknesses, after the discovery, the next thing you need to do is try to improve your weaknesses. The resolutions are not only applicable during the start of the year. You can make a resolution at any time of year.

One of the biggest concerns of people who made resolutions is how to adhere to the resolution. As everyone probably knows, most New Year resolutions are broken in March, sometimes even earlier.
To adhere to resolutions, we must strive to change one or several things at once. Promising to change many things at once, as you prepare for the failure. Start and small and few and you will be surprised to discover that your life changes already.

Set clear objectives

For you to achieve a certain goal, you must first be able to formulate clearly. If you want to lose weight for example, do not just say you want to have a flat stomach or a small size. Say rather that you want to waist 28 inches and I want to lose 10 pounds.

The advantage of having set clear goals and it would be easier for you to follow your progress. It would also be easier for you to create the best strategies to achieve the goal faster. If you have any goals of fire, you'll be amazed at the way things seem to fall into place. Each case, each person you meet will help you achieve your goal.

Play a game

Some games have the potential to raise self-esteem. This is particularly effective with children. The games are effective in building self-esteem through them because children can assess their abilities and skills. The games can also improve the skills that children already have.

Remember that life is a journey

It is said that the journey is more important than the destination. The same is true with life. So enjoy anywhere at the moment and we believe that life would improve.